1. Good for you!
2. Pffft! WHY would you stop smoking? How boooring! Live it up baby!!
3. What - you think you're better than me!?
4. WHHYYYY are you so much better than me!! :( :( :(
5. Babe, when you go to the shop can you please grab another packet of Dunhill whites?
And now I have finally reached this stage. The one where I have realised that waking up on a Sunday morning with my mouth tasting like I had eaten actual shit the night before (after my yiros of course) just is not that fucking cool anymore. The one where in an effort to get healthy and fit I have started kick boxing but after 10 minutes I am surprised my lungs haven't collapsed and said, "fuck this breathing shit!" And with my first ever godson on the way, I have no interest whatsoever in being that aunty/godmother. You know the one? That smells like she ate last nights ashtray? That one. Also, when you have people over your house and you have to stand away on your own because you are the only smoker - that right there is just plain sad.
Don't get me wrong - even typing about this is making me want a cigarette. BUT, my husband hates it, my friend's hate it (even though most of them are too polite and lovely to say anything about it) and now I really hate it too. So. I am on the nicotine patches in an effort to act like an adult and do something about this. I am not going to lie, a part of me wants to show people, 'Look at me I am a big girl too!' However most of it is the shit/mouth thing. Oh and cancer etc.
ANYWAY - the leaflet which comes with the patch advises that while using the patches, one should also try and do something to distract themselves when having cravings. So I took their advice and decided to cook the most fucking time consuming dish I could find....
Enter Heston's Chicken and Ham Pie.
http://www.channel4.com/4food/recipes/chefs/heston-blumenthal/chicken-and-ham-pie-recipe
To start, the first step is to brine chicken thighs for 5 hours to keep in the moisture. Sounds long in theory however all you are doing is putting chicken in a salt water bath for 5 hours and waiting. So in that 5 hours I cooked an Asian soup.
The Heston dish wasn't at all hard but there were many elements which did take a lot of time. Once you cook something, it needs to cool. This is for the mushrooms, leeks and chicken itself. Also, there is so much fat in the dish between the chicken thigh skin, butter, full cream milk and dollop cream that I was starting to wonder if a cigarette was a much healthier option. I have to admit I did get really excited when the sauce which needs to be set with gelatine actually worked and I did run up to the husband like a giddy school girl to show him. I assure you he was as surprised as I was. And then jealous.
The pie turned out great it was really rich and you only need a small slice to be full but it was damn tasty. And I learned a great technique with the brining of the chicken which totally worked. Also, it kept me occupied for the whole day and I felt like I had accomplished a difficult recipe as well as giving my lungs a break.
Oh - and I bragged to all of my friends who were all really impressed and happy for me even though I was being possibly a little over the top about it. Still working on that one.
